About:

It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Worrying

So it's back to living with the proverbial gun to my head, my job is over and I'm yet to find another. The store closed on Sunday, and is probably completely packed up and moved out of the building by now. It was nice while it lasted, now I get to live with the constant threat of losing my home again and having no money. I try very hard to stay positive and not lose hope, but at times like this it's even harder. If I could go back and change one thing, I'd have accepted the interview I got called for the day after I got hired at spirit and just worked both jobs if I had gotten it. It was a nice job while it lasted, but I knew from the start that it was only temporary. I was disappointed that it was the only place willing to hire me and I wish I had kept applying once I got hired. I had high hopes of the toy store sticking around after Christmas, but our sales amounts kind of killed that dream.

All I want is a stable job that's going to be there for a while. I'm not asking much, just some job security while I look for a career and try to get my life on track. My artwork isn't really going to get me by in life until I use some other line of work to get that career started. Most places willing to display it want a monthly fee to do so, and right now I need every cent to my name just to get by from day to day. I've got enough to pay my way here at the new place until March, after that I don't know what's going to happen if I don't have a job yet.

If I could get a job that will pay me the same amount per hour that I've been getting, and work me at least 25 to 30 hours a week I'd be doing alright. I just need enough to cover rent and the occasional fast food meal and other small cheap necessary items. It took me 3 months before, and that's about all I can cover myself for this time with the savings I have. All I can do is hope that I can find another job within that same amount of time or less again, if not I don't know what might happen.

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