It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Not Giving Up

I called about the job interview on Monday. I was told that they had made someone an offer and were waiting to hear if they were going to take the job or not. Needless to say, I didn’t get it, so it’s been a pretty crap week for me. Everyone keeps telling me to not give up and keep trying, and I don’t plan on giving up. I wish I could, but I’ve got too much on the line to just let go and not try. I’ve got nothing to go back to if I can’t get a job and make this living situation work. I’ve got a room in a house in the middle of nowhere, living with grandparents who aren’t getting any younger, in an area with far less jobs than there are here. It’s like a black hole. If you’re older you come to that area to retire. If you’re born there you assimilate and go into whatever local business pays the bills, or leave at the first chance and only go back to visit.

My back is against the wall and I’ve got nowhere else to go. I’m still applying to places every day; I won’t let that slip. It’s getting harder every day to find new places to apply to. I’m even reapplying to several of them. I’m right back where I started; backed into a corner with no place else to run. I have to work my way out somehow, because there are no other options. Before I made this move I swore I’d do whatever it takes to make it work out, and that’s what I intend to do still. I’m doing this for myself as much as I am for Stef. This is something that I’ve known I was going to have to do one of these days, and it has to be done. I want to make a better life for myself, and I just hope that after all is said and done she’ll still be a part of it. If it wasn’t for her I’d have never made it this far on my own.

Fredericksburg is having a pride day thingy this weekend, so we're thinking of going. I'm hoping that I might meet some people that could offer me a job or help get me in touch with someone who could. There's several businesses in town that are sponsoring it, so maybe I'll get lucky. Every other job I apply to has 100 other people applying to it also, so I really need a lucky break or some inside information to get ahead at this rate.

On a lighter note I started painting again the other day. I had been racking my brain lately for some new art ideas to make myself feel at least somewhat productive. I got a little inspiration from Stef telling me all the time not to give up on the job hunt. It’s nothing too special; I actually did it in about 4 hours. Anyway, here’s a picture of the latest work. I’m calling it persistence.


I've got another idea I'm going to start working on soon. I won't say what it is yet, but I'm hoping I can make it even better than this one.


April said...
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April said...

Dear Sage,

I know how tough the job hunt can be.

It sounds like you have a great positive attitude, keep it up that comes across to potential employers.

You already know that talking to everyone and making connections is key. Only thing I would add is target companies you would like to work for or jobs you really want to do and go see them even if they don't have a position advertised.

Wishing you good luck.



Katherine M. Bradford said...

I feel your pain, Sage. I've been looking for a job since Feb of this year. I've been on dozens on top of dozens of interviews, I'm pretty much sick of just sight of my resume, and I'm now at a point where I'm more shocked if I don't get "no" reply from one of the many companies I'm working with.

It's a painful process, and with the economy in the toilet this has to be the worst possible time to be out of work. But I have to agree with others, who keep telling you to push forward and keep trying. As much as I would love to just throw my hands in the air and quit (after seven straight months, I am ready), the bills need to be paid and my children need to eat. So, every morning I suck it up and do what I have to. One of these days, your job will find you.. Just keep looking.

Sage Fallon said...

Thanks for the advice and well wishes everyone. I really appreciate it. :)