It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Job Interview

I finally got my first job interview this afternoon, it only took 62 applications. I got a call Friday afternoon asking me to come in on Monday at 5. I found out it was one that I had applied to back in June from craigslist. I was pretty nervous all weekend about it, I was looking up all kinds of interview questions trying to prepare myself for it. I've never really had to do an actual interview for my past jobs, it was always people I already knew who hired me because they knew I needed work and could help.

I made sure to know where this place was well before showing up for the interview. I got Stef to help me look for it on her lunch break, so we had found it by 1:30 and I knew exactly where to go. I wanted to make sure I did everything just right. We got there 15 minutes early, I waited 5 or so and went in to make sure I was a little early. I saw a couple of people sitting in the waiting room, but I didn't think anything or it and just thought they were patients. The job is a receptionist for a medical office. I told the girl at the desk what I was there for and had a seat. Within a minute or two someone else comes in and says they're there for an interview and in all in the next 10 minutes 4 other people show up for one. I got pretty nervous at that point.

In all 7 of us were there by the time the doctor came out to start the interview. I felt a little more at ease when she said she was going to explain the job to us as a group and then do individual interviews. She said in the process of explaining this that they do a lot of alternative type medicine and treatments there, and as soon as I heard that my confidence shot up a good bit. It's something I've had a big interest in for quite some time now. One person showed up late as she was talking to us and was told to go to the waiting room, so I figured that narrowed things a little bit, and one walked out after. I was still pretty nervous, but I felt some confidence that I could find some common ground with the doctor and make a good impression.

I was the third person to get called back. She started off by asking me to tell a little bit about myself and what my interests are and such. I made sure to mention that I have studied a bit of alternative medicine myself. She asked if I had ever used any of what I had studied, and I said that I use garlic anytime I feel sick because it helps to cure the cause as opposed to just treat the symptoms like over the counter meds. She knew about it and seemed a bit impressed by what I knew. After the first few minutes I relaxed a bit and things went pretty well. She would ask a serious question with the interview and I would throw a little something in that would get a short conversation going for a minute. She liked my nail polish color, and seemed to like the idea that I am artistic and a little different than most people. A lot of it felt more like a conversation than an interview.

I think I made a good impression, I walked out smiling and not faking it. She seems like the kind of person I want to work for. She's a bit out there herself but seems pretty open minded and progressive, so I think I would enjoy working there if I get the job. I really hope I do, I don't want to work fast food. I have nothing against anyone who does, it just feels like a down grade if I'm forced to after working in the art field ever since the end of high school. I got lucky with my first job, and I just hope I get lucky with this one. She said there were 100 people who applied for the job, and everyone who was asked to come in stood out to her in some way. That's why I think I stand a good chance. I gave it my best shot, I feel like the ideal situation dropped in my lap and I just hope I made a good enough impression that my lack of clerical experience can be looked past.

Today was a good day to me. I spent the first half walking around Fredericksburg, which was ok aside from the heat. I walked all the way from the river up to the top of the heights where the battlefield was. I feel proud of myself for doing it considering that nearly 150 years ago making that walk would have been damn near suicidal. I would have spent more time on the battlefield but I didn't want to get sunburned or anything right before an interview. Today was worth it all to me, I feel like I at least made a good shot at getting a job. I know I can't count on it, but I'm hoping and praying that I get it

Friday, July 22, 2011

A Good Weekend

Last weekend seemed to help out quite a bit with my stress level. At least for a few days I didn't have to worry about jobs and could just relax. I let Stef relax way more than I did, I looked at it as a time to go through some stuff I left behind and see what should come back with me.

I had to go to work with Stef that morning so we wouldn't drive around too much. I spent most of the day outside walking around the old town area in and out of antique shops. I mostly went inside that majority for the sake of cooling down and asking if they were looking to hire help. I checked at 7 different places and struck out at 6. This one vintage shop I went into seems promising though. They sell old vinyls, band shirts, sound equipment and stuff. The guy I talked to said that he wasn't hiring right now but would be in a few months. I gave him my name and number and he said he would give me a call when he's ready to hire someone. It doesn't help me out now, but I guess at the least it may be an option for later if I can't find anything by then or can take it if what I get is really shitty. I'm going to try to go back in there in a month or so and talk to him again.

Aside from the heat it wasn't a bad day for me. The promising job lead helped cheer me up some after getting turned down so many times. I found a coin shop that's pretty reasonable and decided to get a couple coins for my collection. One of my guilty pleasures I guess you could call it. Thankfully I spent all of a dollar on what I got. Nothing special, just a couple of steel pennies that were in ok shape. I figured I deserved something for my efforts.

Things went well at my grandparents. Like I said, it gave me a chance to relax for a bit. I got a chance to watch some cable tv for a couple of days, and do a little target shooting. I talked my granddad into taking me over to the county museum at the courthouse Saturday morning. I had been wanting to go there again since I found out that they had an archive that you could search through. I wanted to see if I could turn up anything about my family. I didn't find much, but I did find something.

I found two 140 some year old receipts for my 3rd great grandfather. One was from 1869 and the other from 1870, and the best part was I got to handle the originals. They were in a folder full of other receipts from the same year so I had to search through them all to find them. What amazed me the most was the condition they were in, if the ink hadn't turned brown and the paper yellowed I would swear they were written yesterday. The paper was still in that good shape.

The oldest I believe was written by his boss for a paycheck, and judging from the different handwriting I think he actually signed it himself. It makes me think that even more because the newest one was written in the same handwriting as the signature, so I think he wrote that one out himself. To me it's as close a connection as I'll ever be able to get to an ancestor who lived that long ago. I got to hold a document that at one time he would have held and signed himself. I got a copy of them for 25 cents, but it was worth far more than that to me.

Getting back on track, we also got to go hang out with my best friend while we were there. I had been wanting her and Stef to get a chance to meet for a while now. It went well thankfully, and the two of them got along great. I was worried a little since she hasn't liked anyone else I've ever dated, although in hindsight I probably shouldn't have liked them either. I got a chance to catch up with the rest of the family on Sunday too, and it gave me a chance to share what I found the day before with them.

It was a good weekend for me, and it helped lift my spirits a bit from how they had been. I think we both enjoyed ourselves. I've been inspired to draw up a family tree sometime that I want to donate to the archive at the museum the next time we go see my grandparents. This week has been a back to reality sort of one. It's the same old unemployment grind day in and day out. Put in several applications a day and hope for the best. I'm up to 60 now and still going, I hope I find something soon.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Getting By

There's not a lot new to talk about lately. The job hunt continues on past 40 jobs applied to, a few promising leads but not much else. I'm not sure why no one is even calling me in for an interview, Stef thinks that it's because I don't have much experience. Sadly the bulk of my experience is with photography, and those jobs are few and far between in this economy. I really don't want to settle for a gas station or fast food, but it's more likely every day that I may have to. I'm not even sure if one of those would hire me the way things are going.

It's been very frustrating and stressful on us both. I don't think either of us has been sleeping well lately. We're getting by, but we don't have a whole lot to fall back on should something happen that would require more than 100 bucks to fix. She's trying to save up for an anime convention she wants me to go to with her at the end of the month, and I'm trying to skimp where possible and feed us on my food stamps. I worry about Stef, I know she's stressed out a lot because of me not having a job and needing to depend on her for a lot right now. We had a near miss on the road this afternoon that scared the hell out of both of us. I just wonder if the stress contributed at all to it.

We're planning on going to visit my grandparents this weekend, I'm hoping the time away from home will be good for us both. I'll be happy just to get the chance to see them again and possibly grab a few things I left behind. She tends to get bored when we go there since there's no internet or places to go, but I guess I'm used to it more. I spent the greater part of my life with no internet, so for me it's a chance to get outside and do some things I can't do here.

I'm no where near a stereotypical girl. I want to do some target shooting with the pellet gun we have, maybe go brave the bugs and take a walk through the woods. That's the one I dislike about living here. I miss being able to go outside anytime I want and do stuff like that. I'll be happy just to get one weekend where I can, and hopefully clear my head of some of the stress that's built up lately.