About:

It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman, and everyday life in general. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that transgender people face every day.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Hope

There hasn’t been much to write about lately. I’m still searching for a job, putting in as many applications as I can, and just taking life one day at a time. I’ve been a bit homesick, but with any luck I’ll get a chance to see my family again before long. I’ve neglected my blog a bit in the last few weeks, honestly just because things got a bit busy.

I’ve been rather focused on my spirituality the last week or so. The solstice seemed to have the effect on me. I’ve been frustrated with my job search and financial situation, not to mention the ties that have been severed between very close family members and me. It’s all been weighing on my mind and causing nightmares and bad dreams. I did a small ritual for the solstice, nothing anywhere near what I normally try to do. I left a small offering and sat and meditated a bit. It’s done a great deal to get me back in the habit of appreciating the things I have more.

I have a wonderful girlfriend that I wouldn’t trade for the world, even with all her faults. Thanks to her I have a home that’s really nice, and not in the middle of nowhere away from potential jobs. We ended up having awesome roommates that we cam sit and talk and joke with for hours. I have a few good leads on jobs that I may stand a chance at getting, and quite a few other things that are just too numerous to list. As I’ve sat here typing this even, Megan and I seem to have reconciled our differences. Life isn’t so bad when I look at it that way. It could be far worse, and thank the gods it’s not.

Depression still gets to me quite a bit, even in the days since Tuesday, but for some reason tonight I am calm and at peace. The feeling won’t last for too long, but it’s one I will cling to for as long as I can. It’s not often I can say this and truly mean it, but life almost seems too short when I think of all the amazing things, people, and places (the amazing nouns lol) that I am yet to experience. Life is beautiful, no matter how bad things get, I know if I hold on a while longer they will get better. It’s funny how focusing on my spirituality seems to clear up the static in my head and let me see things in a more positive light. Maybe I’m just fooling myself into being happier with false hope, but I’ll take whatever gets me through life a little happier.

Just a song that inspired me a bit that I thought I would share.

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