It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

SSI Call...

It should be more like the SSI call that never happened. I was sitting next to my phone for over an hour this afternoon waiting for that call. I got frustrated and called the office number to see if they had forgotten about me. The person I talked to said that I was called several times and there was no answer, my phone never rang! It didn't tell me I had any missed calls, and there was no voice mail. I told them I was sitting there with the phone and never got anything, the best they tell me is that I was called. The best they could do for me was offer me the chance to reschedule my appointment for another day. They at least gave me the option of another phone call or an office appointment; I chose the office appointment. They pissed me off and I'll be dammed if I'm going to miss another appointment. So now I have to sit and wait for who knows how long for something to come in the mail again to tell me when that is. My phone never rang, I had no voice mails, I think someone dialed the wrong number. If there was a voice mail they should have left a message if I didn't pick up. I think it's their fault, because my phone works fine. I called Stef this morning with it and later this afternoon after all the bullshit and it worked fine.

The only light I can make of it is that I get the chance to see my therapist one more time before the appointment and give her the run down of everything. Also I can set more precedence in my psych records. I don't want to say I have a disability, but at this point I have to admit that I do have anxiety and depression problems that need to be addressed more than they are now. To drive my point home I'm going to schedule an appointment to see the psychiatrist in the office of my therapist for an evaluation of any anxiety issues. I don't know what may come of that, but it will be on record if the SSI people pull my psych records that it's going to happen. I would give anti depressants another try if they wanted to put me on them again, same with anti anxiety meds, but I can't afford them. Insurance wants more out of me for my meds than I could go down to walmart and get them for with no prescription. The only way I could afford those on top of my hormones each month is SSI.

The only reason I'm not on anti depressants still is because I refused to take them after months of pretending to. My reasoning at the time was I put on them while in the hospital with the phrase "take them or we can make you take them". Before that I was on ADD meds for like 7 years and was always told take the pill, it's to help you concentrate. I spent most of my life taking meds that I was forced to take. In hindsight I made a stupid move with the anti depressants. I was 17, I didn't really imagine at that time in life that I'd live long enough to experience any consequences from stupid shit I did in my teens.


Halle said...

Technology lets us down, sure, but the telephone??? That sounds very suspicious and what a nuisance!

Roger on "I didn't really imagine at that time in life that I'd live long enough to experience any consequences from stupid shit I did in my teens."

I'm sure of few of us can relate to that one..



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