The holidays went pretty well for me this year. Stef came down to see me on the 23rd for my birthday, which was honestly the best present I could have ever asked for. She stayed with me and my family through Christmas until the 26th, then I went home with her and spend the next 5 days at her house. I stayed home while she went to work, then on Friday I went in to work with her since she only had a half day and people wanted to meet me. I can now vouch for the level of boredom with her job. We came back here that afternoon after she got off from work and she stayed until a few hours ago.
I got about 11 1/2 days to spend with her, and I'm glad I did. It gave me a little insight into how things would be if we had our own place together at some point. We had a few times where we frustrated each other a bit, but nothing that lead to a full out argument. I'm going to consider that a good thing. I know that inevitably we're going to get into arguments and have disagreements over things, but I think we can make it through those. Neither one of us is the type of person to just walk away over nothing.
The job issue and driving came up too, which are probably my biggest worries right now. Driving being my biggest one. She wants me to try to make both happen. She's not going to push me too hard at least. My plan right now is to apply for SSI and claim a mental disability with my anxiety problems. I can get $675 a month with that, which can hold me over while I work with voc rehab to get a job. I'll just stick with that until I can get a job that will let me earn more per month that I'd be getting on disability.
Driving unfortunately won't be as easy to fix. I never got my license, so I'm pretty much starting from scratch. The fact that I have a huge phobia of driving is like the icing on the cake to that one. Stef said she's going to help me with learning, and my family offered too, I just need to learn how to get past the anxiety some way. I see my psychologist tomorrow, so I'm going to bring it up then. I seriously think I need some professional help with it, as embarrassed as I am to admit it. It's been holding me back this long and I know I need to do something about it.
A job will come in time, I'm pretty sure I can make that happen if I keep trying. Driving is going to be harder, unfortunately. I have to learn how while also trying to over come a phobia of it, and even then I have no how to go about getting my license at my age for the first time. I'm scared, but I want to get these things done before they turn into big issues with us. I found someone that I'm happy with, I don't want to let something stupid screw that up for me.
Six years of blogging
3 hours ago