It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Life Drags On

I met with my new voc rehab counselor yesterday for the first time. It wasn't much special about it, just tying up loose ends with paper work and getting blank spots filled in. I just email a couple of things to him and I'm set. The slowness of it all just gets to me. Just my luck that I move only to end up in another area without public transportation. It looks like I'm screwed as far as jobs in this area go until I can learn to drive. I don't know yet though, I didn't find out a lot yet. I'm hoping that as I work with them in the office here I'll start finding out what my options are soon. It's all just moving so painfully slow right now I'm practically climbing the walls. I'm being patient though, I've come a long way from where I was 6 months ago. I just have to keep trying and I'll get there.

I suppose I can thank Stef's mom for making me feel inadequate with her bullshit move about me coming over next month. All I wanted to do was save my girlfriend 40 or 50 bucks in gas money, is that so fucking wrong? The fact that I can't drive gets thrown in my face once again. I know I've written about this already, but I can't help but bitch again. I'll continue to bitch about it for as long as I want. Her mom feels like pulling the 4 year old child card on us for some mysterious reason. Wouldn't she like to know that my best friend's parents have a child of similar age and couldn't care less if I were there or not. I also did far worse things at my friend's house than I could do at Stef's house too.

Oh well, I guess there isn't much else I can do about things at this point. I already told Stef that if I can't even be trusted to come over and stay during the week I don't want to spend another holiday with her family. I'd sooner go with her to spend it with her dad's family than spend it with people who blatantly don't trust or respect me. At least her dad's family just kept their mouths shut and left us alone. I don't put up with the kind of passive aggressive bullshit that we're getting from her mom. I didn't put up with it from family, and I'll be dammed if I'll put up with it from hers either. The only thing stopping me from just coming back with her anyway is that I don't want to get her kicked out.

One thing I can promise, and I know Stef agrees with me; once her and I are out on our own together, we're cutting ties with her family completely. If they don't like that, they have no one but themselves to blame. I'm not usually an angry person, or even quick to anger for that matter. However, if you try to keep me from seeing the person I love, you haven't seen anything yet. As far as I'm concerned, her family is the cause of her self esteem and image issues, and I'll do everything in my power to undo what they've done to her over the years.

No comments: