It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

For Better or Worse

Things are still moving way too slow around here. I just heard from social security, I got a letter in the mail saying they'll call me on the 25th. I'm not sure what's going to come of this attempt, but voc rehab isn't helping at all. They're still dragging their feet. I got a call last Tuesday morning from my case worker to say that she had forgotten to put the transfer in for my case last month. That really pissed me off. I did everything I was supposed to do, but the person who's job it is to help me dropped the ball and I have to pay for it. It's a slow race to see who helps me first right now, voc rehab or social security. In the meantime I'm pretty much sitting here doing nothing productive thanks to their lack of action. I called my case worker the day after and asked about stuff. She said she had sent the email to the person who supposed to pick up my case, and that was almost a week ago. I'm calling again on Thursday if I hear nothing tomorrow.

I really hope one or the other of these come through for me. I need some source of income, I want to be able to help Stef out with gas money when she comes to see me at the very least. It would be nice to have enough to make renting a place together optional if we decided to. She tells me to not worry about money, but I can't help it. I hate feeling like I can't get anything for her when she wants it. I mean I pulled through for Christmas, but I used gift money to make it happen. I just wish I had my own place right now, then I could tell her to stay as long as she likes with me.

Things are doing well with us right now, in spite of all the crappy stuff going on in our lives. For once in my life I'm dating someone that's a good influence on me, and I'm going to do my best to make sure I don't screw things up. The last 2 people I've dated honestly, did nothing but rub off their bad habits on me or proved to just be shitty in general. Before them nothing really lasted beyond a few months with anyone. I have a good feeling about Stef, not only is she just an amazing person in general, but she's exactly what I needed in a relationship. I couldn't have asked for better in a girlfriend.

I love how we can both geek out together. She's gotten me back into gaming a bit again and we play halo together sometimes. Not only that but we'll watch mythbusters or something on the discovery channel together and both be into it. We don't have everything in common, but so far it feels like just enough similarities and differences that we'll do just fine together. She's introduced me to quite a few things that I'm now into that I wasn't before. I'm happy with her, and I know she's happy with me, so long as we can make each other happy I know we'll make it.


Laura Bennett said...

What a heart felt beautiful post Sage...

I am truly happy for you :)

Anonymous said...

Bureaucracies always drag their feet. I'm sorry about that part, but the rest is amazing! It's funny how closely your relationship with your girlfriend mirrors my relationship with my girlfriend :) Things will get better... they have to, right? Just hang in there.