It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Inhouse Pharmacy No Longer Shipping to the US

It came to my attention earlier today that inhousepharmacy.com is no longer able to ship to customers in the US, all thanks to a lovely little site called LegitScript.com. The following is from the site itself.

"Important Notice to United States Shoppers

We regret to advise that this site is no longer able to supply to shoppers residing in the United States.

After recent action taken by LegitScript.com we have had to stop supplying customers within the USA. LegitScript.com are actively closing down hundreds of sites that operate from outside the United States. We have been targeted as we operate on a no prescription required basis.

We appreciate that most of our customers have been very loyal long term shoppers and we deeply regret being unable to supply you from this site."

This deeply troubles me, even though I currently see a doctor and have a prescription for my hormones. That wasn't always the case for me though. I started my HRT by ordering hormones from inhouse 3 years ago, and I self medicated for 6 months before finding a doctor willing to help me. I credit that site with saving my life in a big way. I never tell anyone to go DIY with hormones unless as a last ditch effort when all else fails. I'm all for going legit, but the option to self medicate should still be there. I may make some enemies saying that, but so be if I do. Not everyone has the same options available as everyone else.

I agree with this legitscript site that online pharmacies should be monitored for quality, but shutting down a site which has for years been known as a hugely reliable site is going too far. I know quite a few trans people that have been using inhouse as their HRT supplier for quite some time. Not a single person I know of has had trouble with them, or the meds they received from them, of any kind. If anyone that reads this has, tell me, because I'd like to know. I'd like to know why a perfectly legit online pharmacy was regulated into not being able to ship to the US.

I know why, competition! Their goal isn't to shut out dangerous online pharmacies which sell fake products, it's to shut out all foreign pharmaceuticals that don't require a prescription. Regulate the hell out of narcotics and antibiotics for all I care, but since when is estrogen or spironolactone abuse a problem? They just don't want the competition. An online pharmacy can supply someone with the medicine they need for a fraction of the cost here in the states, and without a prescription too. There are always people out there that will abuse that ability, but the majority of people who use these sites legitimately need the medicines they order and otherwise could not afford them.

Trans people have it hard enough, don't take yet another option away from us when we have so few to begin with! Making something illegal doesn't prevent it's being available, it merely jacks up the price people will pay to those who are able to obtain it and bring it to them. It makes criminals out of otherwise perfectly law abiding people. It angers me to see this happening.

http://www.legitscript.com/ This site is about to ruin, derail, and possibly prevent many transitions in the US. I for one do not support their campaign of paranoid, indiscriminate, prescription drug monitoring. Go monitor the sites that send people fake meds that can possibly kill when taking a seemingly normal dosage and leave the ones that genuinely try to help people alone. You're ruining lives legitscript! Speak against my opinion if you must, but it's just that, my opinion. I don't give a damn about some doctors bottom line, what I care about are all the people who suddenly may have no hope left, not everyone has a choice to go get a prescription. Those are the people I speak for. It's where my roots are, and I will always support the right to self medicate if someone chooses to do so.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Moving On

Well things are still looking up for me. It's been a rather hectic few weeks lately, but everything is coming together for me. I've made a few new friends, who are fucking awesome by the way, and finding new interesting places to go. I love living this close to the city now, so much is finally within reach it's like where do I start first. I even found out a good friend of mine is now living pretty close by and wants me to come with her to the fine arts studio and get my hands dirty working with some clay. I won't life is perfect, but compared to hellhole middle of nowhere it's 10 times better. I'm trying to find a way to go see my girlfriend sometime soon. She's a few hours away, so I may just take a bus seeing as I'm right here at Richmond now where there's plenty to choose from. I just have to find a way to make the money for a ticket and find out which is best to go with. Things seem to be doing pretty well with us so far at least.

On a side note, I'm sure quite a few of you remember the case of cyber harassment brought on by my ex and her little crony earlier this year. Lets just say karma has come full circle on that little issue. Don't screw with a practicing witch; I'm leaving it there. Otherwise I can't say I have many complaints aside from the usual transition related stuff. I'm enjoying living here, and hoping things keep on how they've been going. I'm finally moving forward, and I'm done looking back.

"You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise...." -Maya Angelou

Sunday, September 19, 2010


Progress is definitely being made! The last week was pretty hectic for me. I went back to the grandparents on Tuesday since I needed to see my psychologist again and let her know about me moving and everything. I don't think I've ever seen her as happy as I did that day when I said that I moved out. I'm only going to see her once a month for now until things get settled here. I want to keep her in the loop in case I can pull a miracle out of thin air sometime soon with surgery.

I went back to the grandparents after that was over so I could pick up some more of my stuff. I got to bring the desktop with me, and my aunt got a wireless card to put in it for me. So now I have my awesomely great desktop hooked up to high speed for once. I call the desktop my baby, so this only makes me like it even more. I grabbed most of the rest of my clothes and whatever other art supplies and random crap I decided to bring along.

There was a letter from social services waiting for me too. I had to fill out something related to me getting a job and them helping me with it and send it in to them by Friday. That had me worried since I'm an hour away from there now, but my aunt suggested faxing it in. I called up social services the next morning and got everything taken care of. I faxed it to the right person, and told them I where I was moving to, and I got a letter in the mail on Friday saying that my case was transferred. So now I just wait for a phone call to see who I meet with here and I should be good to go. The next thing I need to do is get in touch with my voc rehab case worker and tell them I've moved. Considering they haven't checked in with me since fucking March, I suppose I have a lot to fill them in on.

Things are coming together for me, finally! It's just going to take a little time to get everything to where I want it to be. To be honest, it feels like I've been locked away in a mental hospital for the last 6 or 7 years and am now just getting out. That's how trapped I felt there. It's scary in a way, but I know it's for the better. It's hard to just pick up everything I can and leave the place I've lived for the last 17 years of my life, but it has to be done. I will never get anywhere so long as I live there, there's no questioning that. I know I'm doing the right thing.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Long Time No Post

So yeah, it’s been a while, something like 3 weeks if I’m not mistaken. I’ll be honest, I just haven’t really felt like posting much of anything new lately. I’ve also been pretty busy as well. I’ve been holding back from talking about some things on here for a bit, but I’m going to start opening up about them some now. So I’m sure everyone is wondering what I’ve been up these last few weeks, well sit back and get ready to read, I’m about to fill you in.

Here we go with the first big topic of interest that I’ve been reluctant to open up about; my love/sex life as of lately. It’s not something I’ve really brought up before, although I’m sure plenty of people have noticed hints of it or possibly even know about me, but I’m pretty into the BDSM (bondage, discipline, sado masochism) lifestyle. As if being trans isn’t enough with the misconceptions. The big subject there would be the fact that I have a girlfriend/mistress now. It’s all still in the beginning stages of things, but I’m hoping it turns into something good for the both of us. She’s a trans girl as well if I didn’t mention that yet. I’m not revealing too much more info on the subject simply for privacy sake and because I once again don’t feel like talking about it. Ha! Maybe later ;)

The big huge topic of interest is that I’m officially moving out of my grandparent’s house. Things got really bad over the last few weeks with my depression, and it was beginning to take its toll on both me and my art. It was mostly over the fact that I felt like I was going nowhere so long as I lived there in that town. I asked my aunt last Tuesday after a small break down in the offer to live with them was still good. She called me up and could tell that I was still pretty upset and decided that she was going to come and get me within 2 hours. So for now it looks like I’m living with them until I can work out something. Which helps me out so much, gets me out of bumfuck nowhere, pretty close to Richmond, high speed net, and the best of all people that accept me as I am and that I can talk to about anything.

I’ve got a new trans girl friend that lives in Richmond and goes to the same doctor as me that I’m hoping things work out well with. I’m close enough that we can actually hang out now, and best of all she knows a lot of people and can help get me into the BDSM scene in Richmond. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, but I’m hoping with a little work I can turn the opportunity I’ve been given into something productive that moves me forward in life. I’m not out of the game yet, hell, I’m just getting started. I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot the last year and a half from being back with the grandparents. It feels like I have so much catching up to do, but for sake of my sanity and potential career I have to keep going.

I’ll try to write some more in the next few days, I’m staying fairly busy here, but it really helps. I’m trying to deal with what may possibly be some undiagnosed psych issues, so it’s one day at a time for now. I’m staying optimistic about the future, I’m hoping things keep improving.