It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Trying to Get By

It’s been a while since I wrote anything, I know, I’ve had a lot of stuff keeping me busy lately. I’m still working on my art related projects in hopes of getting my work out there, which is progressing as slowly as always. I did meet another trans girl a couple of weeks ago who I’ve been talking to quite frequently ever since. She’s an artist too, so she’s given me a bit of inspiration in my work recently. I guess it’s also just nice to be able to talk to someone about art related stuff and have them know what I’m talking about. There is also definitely an attraction to each other too, and I guess at this point we’re just seeing where that leads us. I don’t want to say too much on here since I’m not sure how much she would be comfortable with me saying.

Aside from that I stayed at my aunt’s house for about a week until last Thursday. They helped me get a business license so I stand a good chance of possibly getting permission to sell stuff at the VA hospital and anywhere else I need a license to sell. They also helped me get some more art supplies. I came home with 10 16x20 canvases and a glass painting kit. I think I’m pretty well stocked up at this point; I just need to get stuff produced and ready to either show a gallery or outright sell to someone. I need to make friends with a gallery owner or someone that’s in close with one or something. I’m sure if I hang around the right places it’s possible it could happen.

On another note my aunt found out about how my grandparents treat me and talk to me and said that if it got to be too much or they kicked me out that I have a place to live. So that might be the break I’ve been looking for. If I can get out of this town I’m in now and closer to Richmond it will seriously increase my chances of getting some people interested in my art. I’ve delved into some more abstract styles lately, so I guess we’ll see how that goes. I have to balance out my own ideas with what’s going to sell to your average person. I want enough to sell and make some decent money, but I also want a body work to take to a gallery for consideration that’s got more behind the image than “that’s pretty”.

I want to make people think with my art, and I love doing pieces that provoke a reaction both good and bad. I’m all for doing art that anyone can understand the meaning behind, but at the same time I have a desire to create some more some more abstract concept pieces that are more difficult to interpret. I did my first abstract expressionist pieces the other day in hopes of seeing how I liked it. I did something rather Mondrian reminiscent but made it my own at the same time with primary colors. My original goal was just to do something different with primary colors, but it turned into something more once I got going with it. Anyone can draw or paint a picture that shows how they feel, I went full out non objective and let the colors and the way they fell on the canvas do the talking. There was this certain sense of release I got when it was done, and I know I’ve done my best when I feel that way.

I guess that’s really about all there is to say for now; I’m just doing what I can and letting things in my life play out however they decide to go. Aside from a few restrictions I’m going where ever the wind blows me, so to speak. I just hope it’s in a good direction. I’m hoping to make use of some of my recent inspiration and do great things with it. I’m going to take some risks, but I’ll never get anywhere without taking one. I also plan on updating a little more frequently again or at least try to when things aren’t too hectic.

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