About:

It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Outed

I got woken up this morning by a text message from my mom, which I ignored for about half an hour before getting up and reading it. She wanted me to ask my brother’s girlfriend if anyone else around here knew about me being TG. She didn’t say why and I texted my brother’s girlfriend and said that my mom wanted me ask. She said no one aside from her, my brother, and her mom. Apparently mom wanted me to pretend that I was asking for myself and not mention her, but she called me after that and said that my soon to be ex step dad found out. I responded by saying I thought he would have found out a long time ago. He apparently had called my mom and left messages saying he didn’t know what was going on or what to call me.

Personally I really don’t give a damn if he knows or not. I’d have let him know a while back if my mom had wanted me to. He’s a dumbass alcoholic jerk that I want nothing to do with anyway, so I couldn’t care less what he thinks of me. I told my mom that if he really wants to bitch at someone to give him my number and tell him to call me, I’d give the bastard an earful. I don’t care what he does to try to seem like he’s changed, he’s still the guy that beat my mother up to me. I don’t know how he found out, but it’s not a big leap to say my brother probably told him or he found out from someone that saw me online.

It’s not really a big deal to me; he’s out of my life, for good I hope. I’ve got more important things to worry about than what soon to be ex family think of me. I need to focus on figuring the insurance information out and looking into that housing program. I want to look into the insurance first, just for sake of possibly getting surgery before I move away from home. It would be nice to know I’m coming back somewhere after that I’d be taken care of. Things will go how ever they’re going to go; I just hope it all turns out well for me.

3 comments:

Laura Bennett said...

Sage,

I hate reading posts like these b/c they reveal the difficult realities of our lives with or without trans-issues. I am sorry that this situation is dragging up such difficult emotions for you.

You can't control these things in your life. You just try to do something positive for yourself everyday and all those little accomplishments add up to big things later in life. Take care of yourself. Better yet, invest in yourself, you're worth it.

Best of luck with the insurance thing. I really hope that works out for you.

xoxo

Melissa said...

Laura's advice is to be taken seriously.

I'm pretty old compared to you, so I'm going to offer you some wisdom from an even older sage than me. Upon leaving for Vietnam in 1969, my grandfather said to me, "Look out for number one!" meaning of course, look out for myself. I carried those words with me to Vietnam, and took them seriously. I never forgot them, and when he died in 1980, I felt like I lost a part of me.

You are number one in your life, Sage. Don't ever let anyone make you think you are anything less.

Take care sweetie,
Melissa XX

Sage Fallon said...

@Laura: Thanks for wishing me luck, I'm going to need it.

@Melissa: Thanks for the advice, I always try to look out for myself and make the best decisions I can. It's going to take a lot more than my step dad's opinion to make me feel like anything less than number one in my life.