I know I've been pretty quiet lately, and that's mostly because I'm trying to get a lot done. I finally went and picked up an application to get food stamps on Thursday, and I swear I think they gave me an outdated form or something. That already happened to me once when I was getting my name change paperwork; hickville's legal offices it seems aren't always quite up to date. Wouldn't you know it there's a spot to fill out sex on the damn application with only 2 choices, the classic obvious ones. The plus side is they ask you to actually write M or F, so I may have a creative solution. I'm going to put M legally, and F preferably. It's going to get me some odd looks and questions, but it's the truth, so they can't turn me down because of that. I'm dreading going back to the social services office. I got called ma'am when I was there the other day, I hate having to out myself for shit like this. If I don't they'll notice when they look at my ID and birth certificate, so I don't have much of a choice. The damn form doesn't even say if I need to make copies of the stuff they want to see from me or if I should bring it in and they'll check it all at the interview. The instructions are vague at best on this thing. I'm just filling it out like it asks and if they give me shit I'll point that out.
On top of that I found out that CIGNA health insurance has just decided to cover GRS. I decided to check out the insurance company that my family has me covered by just in case. I found out that within the last 2 weeks they had adopted pretty much the same policy. So right now I'm trying to find out whatever information about that I can come across. I freaked my grandparents out when I brought it up to them, but after some arguing and crying I think I have them willing to help me out. I need to get them to make a few phone calls just to see if the plan they have me under will do this.
I can only imagine what kind of co-pay I'd get stuck for with GRS, but luckily they cover an orchiectomy under that definition too. It's a lot less expensive, and if I'm lucky would only have to pay $500 out of a total $3500. I can afford that, especially if I can stop taking the T blockers and cut my estrogen dose in half after it. It's worth spending a good chunk of money to save in the long run. It's a much cheaper surgery, so I'm hoping that would make them more willing to approve me for it. I don't know what amount of luck I'm going to have with this, but I can't pass the chance up that it could work in my favor. I lose my insurance in 7 months when I turn 23, so it's a race against time to do this. I'm looking at every option I possibly can to make this happen by the end of the year, no insurance means no more therapy. I need to keep seeing my therapist if I want a letter for surgery, so that also is stressing me out. I just hope something works out for me, either insurance or hope that by some miracle I come by 3500 dollars before my birthday.
I'm disappointed in myself, I turned to smoking again today to relieve stress. I'll admit I only did that because I'm out of alcohol. I've got a bit of a history with both, so add that to the things I'm struggling with lately. I did only smoke about half of a swisher sweet, so I guess stopping myself at that point is a good thing on some level. I hope something works out for me soon, I really need this.