It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Technology Problems

There hasn't been too much going on the last few days aside from a bit of computer trouble. If it isn't one thing stressing me out it's another, at least it seems that way. I was having problems with connecting to the internet after my computer downloaded some updates for windows. I had to spend a day using my laptop to get online, which sucked because it's slower than my desktop. I was desperate enough for help that I actually called Megan up at 4 in the morning, surprisingly I woke her up and she answered. I couldn't get any help out of her though; all she would tell me was that she didn't know what was wrong. I asked if she would call me back later in the day or pick up if I called, all she would say was she didn't know. Apparently that meant no, seeing as she never did pick up the 2 times I called that day. She also told me that she had kicked Amy out that night, apparently that’s why she picked up; she thought it was her calling. I guess I'm more surprised that it was actually a calm and non insulting conversation. I still wish I knew what happened to the person I knew for 7 months before we dated though.

I'm no good when it comes to computers, cameras and anything art related I know my way around pretty well, but I'm lost half the time when it comes to computers. She is really the only friend (at least I still consider her such) I have that knows how to do a lot with them. I at least got a bit of help from a new friend of mine, even if it was mostly just talking to me on the phone while I tried to fix the problem myself. I actually got a lot of help from one of my favorite aunts; she knows her way around a computer pretty well and stayed up half the night on the phone with me trying to get things fixed. As it looks now, I think everything is fixed, but only time will tell.

I realized earlier that yesterday was the national day of silence. I know it's pretty much just a high school or college thing, but after some of the things that have gone on lately I guess it hits home for me. I've been criticized a lot over the past month, even going so far as to make fun of my openness about being TS. It's just such things that the day of silence is meant to bring attention to. Nothing I can say is anything that hasn't been said many times before, and by many people. All I have to say to anyone that sees fit to ridicule or debase LGBT people is, be careful who you decide to cut down so quickly and carelessly. One day that same person may be in a position to either help or hurt you, and then the outcome is you own fault.

To the people that have come after me personally; you can call me a transvestite, crossdresser, or tell me that transgender people will never be taken seriously because of the public’s views of us. Those views are changing, all be it slowly, we are making progress. The only time any of those insults become true is when I give up and allow them to be. I don’t regret being open about myself, I’ve found acceptance in some of the most unlikely places, and that has made it worth all the bad experiences. I’m happy with myself and no insults or anything anyone says against me can take that away.


Melissa said...

Ru Paul once said, "I learned a long time ago, that other people's opinions of me, are none of my business." Sage, don't ever let the criticisms and insults of ignorant people bother you. You should be proud of the fact that you are open about being TS. I know I'm proud of you!

Melissa XX

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to wish you good luck when you finally get a job and tell everyone your trans.

Sage Fallon said...

Thanks for the encouragement Melissa. =) Being open about myself brings me a lot of criticism, but I'm still proud of the fact that I am.