It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Monday, April 5, 2010

I Have A Clone?

I guess I can say things are looking up a bit for me since I last posted. Not so much life in general, but I did at least make a new friend. The funny and scary at the same time thing is we think so much alike we’ve taken to calling ourselves clones. I swear, every day we find something new we have in common, and very specific things too. I mean come on, how many other people out there would think a human skeleton would be nice to have around to play jokes with. A friend of mine introduced me to her, and I have to admit it’s nice to have someone to talk to that I get along so well with after the stuff with Megan. I had started to get that alone feeling again, but not quite as much now. I actually tried texting Megan yesterday to say that I still cared whether she spoke to me or not. Apparently she was with that girl and got her to text me back for her. That was interesting to say the least; I have no clue what she’s been told, but it sounds like a completely different story than the facts I know. Megan has her thinking that I did everything, so I guess to her that’s the absolute truth. Don’t even bother to confront me directly about it and get my side of things. I hate to bring this stuff back up, but something me and my new friend were talking about last night makes me feel like a rant. People need to think for themselves more. I have nothing at all against this girl, but because of whatever she’s been told I guess she doesn’t like me. That sounds oddly familiar, didn’t that happen in WWII out in the pacific when the natives would kill themselves because the Japanese told them the Americans would torture and kill them if captured. My point is don’t let yourself be spoon fed information, verify your sources and get second opinions. Go straight to the source when in doubt. In this situation, there’s about three opinions, and I guarantee that at least two of them will back each other up. I’m not trying to call anyone a liar or lay the blame on anyone either. I’m just so tired of this drama. I’m willing to admit my mistakes and apologize like a civilized person, and I’ve done that, it’s up to her to accept it or not. I also think I’m finally over the mono. I don’t know if it’s completely over yet, but the white spots in the back of my throat are gone and nothing hurts anymore. I’m not sure quite what to make of that after only 2 weeks, but I’ll take it. I’m just glad to be feeling better. If Megan or her friend read this she may want to get checked for mono too, seeing as I came down with it about a month after I got back from her place. I tried leaving her messages about it, but I got nothing in response. Aside from the distractions of a crumbling friendship, things haven’t been too bad the rest of the time. Amy actually re added to MySpace after Megan apparently made her delete me. I guess that means at least someone in that house trusts me when I say I had nothing to do with what happened. I have a new friend on top of that and I’m feeling much better, so let’s hope the future holds some more promise for me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've been reading some of 2007. May all your dreams come true Sage.