It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman, and everyday life in general. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that transgender people face every day.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
I wish I could say that I have something good to talk about this time, but I don't have much. Things with Megan and I seem to be getting worse. She has it in her head that there's some big dark mysterious reason that she had to date me and then leave me. She apologizes for hurting me and refuses to let me help with the DID. I even explained that I've spent hours looking up information about how to help with it because I care about her, she doesn't seem to think she has a problem. The way she's acting lately makes me wonder if I even want to stay friends with her. Me and her ex started talking and are actually pretty good friends now, and she won't let up about thinking that we have a thing for each other. She found out that her ex is attracted to me and that set it all off. I actually explained directly to her one night that I don't have feelings for her ex, that I still love her and only want her. I can't seem to get anything through to her lately. I do something last night that she saw as mildly flirtatious and she was fucking around on the phone about it saying mine about her ex. I don't know what the hell to think about it all anymore. She doesn't even seem like the same person I've known all this time. She's flirting with her ex and some other person, and then she barely talks to me anymore. She apparently wants me to come back and stay again next weekend, but it was her ex that had to first bring it up for it to happen. I got really pissed at her last night and said some stuff I wish I hadn't now, so I'm not really sure where things stand with us right now. I'm trying to at least be a good friend, but at the same time I'm trying to hold back how much I'm hurt by a lot of this. I still care about her, only now I'm starting to wish I didn't. I wish she could see that all I want to do is help her and make her happy, but I'm starting to wonder if she's too far gone. The DID symptoms couldn't be any more textbook than they are with her, and I dont even think she's telling her therapist the truth about everything. I don't know what to do, I don't even know if I should go see her again if she even still wants me to. I'm hurting like hell and it's like she doesn't even care.
My name is Sage, and I'm just a young trans-woman trying to get by in this world. I started this blog to write about my life and what goes on in it, and to talk about whatever I feel applies to it at times. Keep reading if it interests you. I plan to update as frequently as possible. If you send me friend requests on any of my sites, please send a message and mention my blog in it so I don't accidentally ignore it.
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My transgender group on vampire freaks.
This a personal blog, as such it contains the thoughts and opinions of the author alone. By no means are the statements made herein meant to defame, or do harm to anyone. To ensure this, names and personal information of those who have not given explicit permission to the author to use will be omitted to ensure privacy. The author assumes no responsibility for use by others of any information contained on this site or those linked to it. This statement is effective as of 6 May 2011.