It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Saturday, March 27, 2010


So it’s been a week and I still feel like crap. My body isn’t aching anymore at least, but my sinuses hurt like hell. I’m not sure if it’s allergies or a sinus infection. I’ve never had problems with allergies in the spring before, but I know there’s a first time for everything. What’s weird is it’s only on the left side of my head and neck where it really hurts. I’m not sure if that’s a good sign or not. I haven’t had a fever at all since it first started, so that’s what makes me wonder if it might be allergies. I’ve been loading up on the herbs and vitamin C all week, but it doesn’t seem to be doing much. I want to see a doctor, but I’m still nervous as hell about going to any one other than my regular doctor. I never know what kind of reaction I’m going to get around here. It turned out alright last summer when I saw a local one and explained things, but I still can’t help but be scared. I’m also scared because in the last few days one of the bits I want out of me for good has been sore to the touch. I don’t quite know what to make of that. Part of me is scared, and part of me wants to go to a doctor and say it hurts so why not cut them both out just to be safe. I’m hoping it’s nothing, and at the same time, as crazy as it sounds, hoping that it might be something that would give a legit reason to take them out. I wouldn’t have to worry about picking up the bill then since I think my insurance would cover that. I don’t know, it feels like everything on me is deciding to go to hell right now. I’ve only recently gotten my appetite back, but it’s hard on my stomach for some reason. I’m getting a lot of heart burn and bloated feeling. I haven’t messed with my hormones at all in over a month, so I have my doubts they’re anything to blame. My grandparents seem to think they’re the cause of every physical ailment I get now. I’m really hoping I can get better soon, I can’t see a doctor until Monday anyway right now. I’m going to wait it out for the weekend and if I’m not doing any better by then I’m going to try to see one. That should prove to be another real adventure in the land of bibles and rednecks. I may still be young, but right now this is a big reminder to me that I’m not getting any younger, at least it sure feels that way.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

funny when someone ask you a question regarding your blog and about how you seam like your dragging things out with you and your friend megan you delete it