It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I Hate People

I found out last night that a friend of mine was responsible for everything going on. I had been talking to him lately about things going on with Megan, just to vent more or less. I was kind of pissed off the last time I did, and I mentioned in passing that it would be nice if that girl saw my blog so she could see what was really going on. I said right after though that it probably wouldn't help things at all so I didn't think it was worth doing. Apparently he goes off on his own time and makes some random myspace and sends a message with a link to my blog to her. I had no fucking clue what the hell was going on until last night when he got online and decided to tell me after I told him what was going on. Needless to say I was pissed off as hell. I told him that I never asked him to do this and that I also said it wouldn't help. I told him he had a lot of nerve going and pulling something like that behind my back and making someone I still consider a friend not want to speak to me again. That's what I get for staying friends with someone that used to have a crush on me. I used to have a thing for him too, but that's been a good while ago and I had told him that I wasn't interested in guys anymore. I'm not speaking to him right now because I don't know what else to say, nothing I can say will undo this. So it looks like I've lost 3 friends in the process of all this. Megan won't believe me when I tell her I had nothing to do with it, and she won't even let Amy talk to me. But then again she's just blindly listening to Megan because she's afraid of getting kicked out. Stop being sheep people, think for yourselves! According to what little I've heard from Amy the last couple of days Megan didn't even have a clue who could have done it until this girl said she thought it was either her or me. I apologized for what I said in blog about Megan, I don't blame her for being upset about that. If any of it wasn't true I told her to ask Amy since she's where I heard it all. I was getting two completely different stories from 2 people living in the same fucking room, so who the hell am I supposed to believe? I'm sorry if anything I said hurt, but it's like I said before, it's my blog. What I write on here is my business. The whole point of it is to write about my life and whats going on in it. I'm not even going to attempt to defend myself right now, I told what I know. I don't lie to my friends, end of story. I want to be a high priestess one day, so I've got more constructive things to do with my time than go around making up big elaborate lies to tell people. Not to mention I'm no idiot. She can believe me if she wants to, but it really hurts that after all this time we've known each other she can turn her back on me and call me a liar so quickly. I've got pleny of people who would stand behind me when I say something that like is beneath me, because I've earned the trust of my friends.


Anonymous said...

You had me at the title, Sage ;)

I wish I had some advice for you, but I haven't been in any kind of relationship in over a decade... hell, it's been that long since I've even had sex :P

I just thought I'd let you know that I'm listening.

Melissa said...

A bit of free advice. Don't ever write anything in your blog, that you don't want to become public knowledge. Once you click the publish button, you have lost control of it. If you want to record secrets, write them in an old fashioned diary, that you keep locked and stored in a secure place.

Melissa XX