Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I actually had a pretty good day today, well last night and today both. My grandma asked me last night if I wanted to go with them to see my aunt today. She hadn’t really seen me since I went full time or changed my name, but since she knew about it already I decided to go. I figured I might try to mend a few fences with the family, so to speak. Even though I had to get up early, I’m glad I went. She actually called me Sage the whole time when she talked to me, and didn’t really ask any awkward questions and stuff like I was half expecting. We went out to eat and shopped at a couple of thrift stores afterwards. I found an awesome little jewelry box for 2 bucks, and a smaller purse like I’ve been wanting for 7. So things actually went way better than I expected them to today. It feels so good to reconnect with family. I can’t help wishing I had done this sooner, but I guess I made snap judgments just like I didn’t want my family making about me. I’ll admit that I hadn’t really given them a fair chance until now, and I’m glad I did. It almost feels like a slightly late present to me. Also, not long after I had decided to go last night, I tried turning my laptop on one last time in hopes that just maybe it would work, and it did. I have no clue what happened in the first place or to get it going again. It’s as if it just decided it wasn’t going to work for a while. If that’s not proof of karma I don’t know what is. I’m actually happy, something I wasn’t expecting for the holidays this year. People are getting even older in my family, they are my grandma’s siblings after all, and if I don’t give them a chance to accept me soon it may be too late later on. I grew up around most of these people, so it does mean a lot to me to know that some of them accept me as I am. I spent so much of my teens and especially the last 2 years avoiding them, now I’m starting to regret it, but at least there’s still time to make up for it. Maybe my family isn’t quite so bad as I had in mind this whole time. If my friends are too busy for me, I guess I should try to spend time with the only people that feel obligated to see me. Looks like the new year may give me a new chance with my family, I guess we’ll find out.