It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Mending Fences

I actually had a pretty good day today, well last night and today both. My grandma asked me last night if I wanted to go with them to see my aunt today. She hadn’t really seen me since I went full time or changed my name, but since she knew about it already I decided to go. I figured I might try to mend a few fences with the family, so to speak. Even though I had to get up early, I’m glad I went. She actually called me Sage the whole time when she talked to me, and didn’t really ask any awkward questions and stuff like I was half expecting. We went out to eat and shopped at a couple of thrift stores afterwards. I found an awesome little jewelry box for 2 bucks, and a smaller purse like I’ve been wanting for 7. So things actually went way better than I expected them to today. It feels so good to reconnect with family. I can’t help wishing I had done this sooner, but I guess I made snap judgments just like I didn’t want my family making about me. I’ll admit that I hadn’t really given them a fair chance until now, and I’m glad I did. It almost feels like a slightly late present to me. Also, not long after I had decided to go last night, I tried turning my laptop on one last time in hopes that just maybe it would work, and it did. I have no clue what happened in the first place or to get it going again. It’s as if it just decided it wasn’t going to work for a while. If that’s not proof of karma I don’t know what is. I’m actually happy, something I wasn’t expecting for the holidays this year. People are getting even older in my family, they are my grandma’s siblings after all, and if I don’t give them a chance to accept me soon it may be too late later on. I grew up around most of these people, so it does mean a lot to me to know that some of them accept me as I am. I spent so much of my teens and especially the last 2 years avoiding them, now I’m starting to regret it, but at least there’s still time to make up for it. Maybe my family isn’t quite so bad as I had in mind this whole time. If my friends are too busy for me, I guess I should try to spend time with the only people that feel obligated to see me. Looks like the new year may give me a new chance with my family, I guess we’ll find out.

1 comment:

Karoux said...

that's so nice when things like that happen :-) good for you and have a happy new year!