It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Looking For A Job

I went to look for jobs in town last Tuesday after my therapy appointment. The only problem, practically no one is hiring. I tried 8 different places, and half of them I showed up there in person to ask about getting a job. 3 of them just weren't hiring, 2 told me to go online and apply, and the last few I checked online at home later only to find that they weren't hiring. I'm going to try Radio Shack, but since no one in this town leaves their jobs, I'm not too hopeful. I'm just about down to trying the 4 fast food places, which I'm saving as last resorts. I guess after getting my first job in a photography studio, fast food feels like it's beneath me, not to mention it's what my mom does as a job. I don't have anything it really, I guess I just feel like I should be able to get something better than that by now. I guess it also has something to do with not wanting to go the same route as my mom. I'm not giving up though, I'll do a job I hate until I can find one that's better. I'm checking everywhere I possibly can, I won't give up. I just have to accept that it's going to take a little while to find anything in this town. All I can really do is just keep trying, and check the same places every week or two and see if there are any openings. I will find something, I'm not stopping until I do. I did find out the other day that I have 350 dollars more than I thought I did, so I'm better off financially than I had myself believing. I've also got a bit of a crush, if you want to call it that, on another trans girl I'm friends with. I'm not sure where that's going to take me, but that's a story for another time, I could make a whole post just on that.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

My Family Can Piss Off

OK, yeah, it's been a while since I last posted. Nothing really has been going on, I regret to say. I've been trying to get my family to give me a ride into town to get applications for jobs since the last time I posted. Just my luck they decided to get someone to come do work on the house off an on. So the days I'm able to go, they can't, and there's not much point going on a Saturday. I told them earlier today I want to go tomorrow, and they tell me the guy is supposed to be coming again, but don't know if he will. I'm sick of my family, that's all they ever do, promise me nothing. They bitch and bitch that I need to get a job, but refuse to help me get a job. They had the nerve to tell me that they can't take me every day if I get one. Fuck them! I'm sick of this bullshit from them. I'll get where I want in life, with or without their help. I bitch about my family a lot, I know, but this is it. Tell me I may regret pushing my family away if you want, it's worth any amount of future regret to rid myself of this apathetic family. I've got a new camera, so I can see where my photography takes me at least. I will get a job, my options are limited, but I'll find a way, I swear it. I will not accept anything less than what I want, not anymore. I am who I am in spite of my family, not because of them. I will never be, nor would I ever want to be anything like my family. One way or another, I will get what I want, with or without my family's support.