Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I don't really bring this subject up that often, but I'm starting to think even more lately that I'm lesbian. I've had my suspicions all along, but I haven't had a girl actually hit on my until lately. I guess it made me rethink my sexuality, at least how exactly I define it. I've gone with pansexual for a while now, just because I could easily make an emotional connection with someone, regardless of gender, when it came to love. Physically it's a different story. I don't know it's from being uncomfortable with my own body or not, but with guys I just can't seem to do much physically, aside from the obvious limitations. I can only go so far with a guy before I get grossed out or nervous. My ex told me all the time he thought I was lesbian when we had physical issues, it's just that now I think he's right. Sometimes I don't even know if I have a sexuality, because it's not like I've done much better with girls in the past. My goal isn't sex when I'm looking for a relationship, it just sometimes seems like I'm asexual. Maybe it's just too soon to worry about what exactly I like in someone else, I definitely have bigger priorities in my life right now. It's just weird I guess. I've always liked girls, which is what caused me most of the issues I had coming to terms with being TG. I've been with more girls than guys in the past anyway. I don't completely know what I like right now, all I know is that I'm about 95% sure I'm lesbian. I'm leaving 5% just for curiosity. All I know is that given the choice between a girl and a guy that were equally attractive physically, I'd go with the girl. So I guess it's safe to say I'm lesbian then. Just some random thoughts for the night.