Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I've just been made an offer to be roomates with another TG person today. She lives in the city that I've wanted to move to so I can be closer to my clinic, and she actually goes there too. She lives in a house with 2 other roommates, who are actually very supportive of TG people. She said they have an extra room, kind of small but definately big enough to put a bed and some other stuff in so I have a place to sleep at night. She still needs to talk with her roommates about it, but she said they would only ask for 150 bucks a month for me to have the room. It's perfect; the city I want, the people I want to be around, jobs and places to go within walking distance, and I have the money to move in right now. The only problem is, I would actually be moving farther away from my boyfriend. I know if he wasn't able to see me much he might leave me, and I don't know what to do. I tried coming up with my own idea to make money, being a professional dominatrix (yes I'm into that stuff), and he shot it down. My aunt is having financial problems, so I can't get any work with her, so I'm out of options in my current situation to make money. My mom is getting a $5,000 dollar inheritance from a recently deceased relative, and she's going to give me 300 of it to help me make the first 2 months rent so I can try to move in and look for a job. I just have such a bad feeling that I'm going to lose Richard if I do this. This is the best chance I've ever gotten to get out on my own, and I may have to lose him to do it. I don't know what I'm going to do, all I know is I can't let this go if it all works out like I'm hoping. I may never get another opportunity to live somewhere for so cheap, and with another TG person at that. I'm really torn right now, me and Richard have been having a lot of problems still, and I don't know if we will last or not. I'm scared of missing out on something either way I go, but honestly moving out on my own seems to be overwhelmingly calling. I hope I don't have to lose him to do it, and even though it will hurt if I do, I guess I understand. I'm not letting this go too easily, I have to see where it takes me. I'm nervous and scared as hell, but I have to do it sometime, I cant live at home forever. I just hope I'm making the right choice.