About:

It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman, and everyday life in general. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that transgender people face every day.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Decisions

I've just been made an offer to be roomates with another TG person today. She lives in the city that I've wanted to move to so I can be closer to my clinic, and she actually goes there too. She lives in a house with 2 other roommates, who are actually very supportive of TG people. She said they have an extra room, kind of small but definately big enough to put a bed and some other stuff in so I have a place to sleep at night. She still needs to talk with her roommates about it, but she said they would only ask for 150 bucks a month for me to have the room. It's perfect; the city I want, the people I want to be around, jobs and places to go within walking distance, and I have the money to move in right now. The only problem is, I would actually be moving farther away from my boyfriend. I know if he wasn't able to see me much he might leave me, and I don't know what to do. I tried coming up with my own idea to make money, being a professional dominatrix (yes I'm into that stuff), and he shot it down. My aunt is having financial problems, so I can't get any work with her, so I'm out of options in my current situation to make money. My mom is getting a $5,000 dollar inheritance from a recently deceased relative, and she's going to give me 300 of it to help me make the first 2 months rent so I can try to move in and look for a job. I just have such a bad feeling that I'm going to lose Richard if I do this. This is the best chance I've ever gotten to get out on my own, and I may have to lose him to do it. I don't know what I'm going to do, all I know is I can't let this go if it all works out like I'm hoping. I may never get another opportunity to live somewhere for so cheap, and with another TG person at that. I'm really torn right now, me and Richard have been having a lot of problems still, and I don't know if we will last or not. I'm scared of missing out on something either way I go, but honestly moving out on my own seems to be overwhelmingly calling. I hope I don't have to lose him to do it, and even though it will hurt if I do, I guess I understand. I'm not letting this go too easily, I have to see where it takes me. I'm nervous and scared as hell, but I have to do it sometime, I cant live at home forever. I just hope I'm making the right choice.

1 comment:

Shinigami Liz said...

I recommend moving but am not going to give any reasons because you should know most of them all already anyway (and I know you do, smart girl). As for the b/f there is a quote that explains everything you need to know.

"Love is the illusion that one man is any different from any other man."