It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Monday, November 17, 2008

An Update

It's been a while since I posted anything on here. I just can't seem to find time to post much lately. If it's not one thing it's another. But I thought I'd try to give an update on how things are going for me. Everything is fine right now, but I've had more problems than I knew how to deal with. Me and my boyfriend have been having a lot of problems between us. We almost broke up, but we've both agreed to try and fix things now. I still haven't gotten things started for changing my name. I'm kind of disappointed in myself for not getting it done by now. My only real obsticle is that I don't have reliable transportation to get to the court house and ask for everything. Otherwise I'm perfectly capable of doing it. I've been depressed some the last few days about it. My grandparents won't take me, and my only friend that has a drivers license lost it for 60 days. So I might have to wait until after christmas to do it at this rate. I haven't really tried to convince my grandparents to take me yet, but I guess it's worth a try. They've managed to surprise me a lot lately. The day I got home from my boyfriend's they had bought me a sweater and a coat. A girls sweater and coat at that. I couldn't believe it. The coat didn't fit so we had to take it back, but that gave a whole other shock. They asked me to come with them when they went to take it back so I could pick something else out. That was kind embarassing being with them in the store though. They refused to call me Sage, or refer to me as a girl, so it was kind of humiliating with other people around. I swear every time they used my guy name I just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear. I noticed a few people starring and it made me snap at them a bit about it, and I thought we were going to end up leaving without getting anything. It turned out alright though. They got me a 50 dollar coat, it was the only I liked that fit me, and they got it for me anyway even thought I said they didn't need to spend that much on me. Then we went to walmart and they told me to go pick out an outfit of clothes and they would get them for me as a christmas present. I never expected any of it. Apparently they were concerned that I didn't have enough warm clothes for the winter. Whatever is going on with them I like it. I even convinced my grandma to teach me how to sew today, so now I can fix stuff on my clothes if I need to. It's been kind of a mix of things going on. I guess in a way some things have gotten better, while others have just stayed the same. Unless I can get my grandparents to take me to the court house tomorrow then my name change is going to have to wait until next month. I'm going back to my boyfriend's on Wednesday. I also need to find out from my bank how easy it will be to change the name on my account, or what exactly I need to do for it. I want to do that before I get it changed to avoid any possible problems. I guess it's going to be more complicated than I thought. Oh well, I'm past the point of no return, so I'm not giving up on it. I guess I at least have the progress with my family to be thankful for.

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