Saturday, November 22, 2008
I Miss My Mom
I haven't so much as spoken to her in about 2 months. I've tried calling, but she never picks up, or never calls me back. She only lives maybe a mile from me, but yet she can't even pick up a phone or stop by and see me once in 2 months. Well actually it's been more like 4 or 5 months since I've seen her in person. It just seems like every time we talk there's an argument. She got to meet my boyfriend and the whole time she was using my guy name pronouns. It was humiliating because his friend was there too. They both know about me, but it was embarassing still. It hurts sometimes to know that she doesn't accept me. It hurts even more when she doesn't even seem to give a damn about me. I wonder if she even cares. She of all people I wanted to accept me, and I thought for so long that she had. But once it was obvious I wasn't going to turn back, she rejected me. She supported me when she thought I would grow out of being TG, she treated it like it was just a joke. She still does. My boyfriend's family cares more about me than my own most of the time. They care if I'm happy or not, my family just checks every now and then to make sure I'm alive. My grandparents are doing better, but that's about it. Silence hurts just as much as hateful comments sometimes. In fact it hurts even more, because at least when I'm being insulted they're speaking to me. When they're not, it just shows indifference. But this is about my mom, not the rest of my family. I do have to give them credit for trying though. I just wish my mom would too.