Thursday, August 14, 2008
Current Goings On
There isn't too much to say that's happened since the last time I wrote. A friend of his came down from Richmond the other day, which turned to be a lot of fun. We spent a couple days hanging out with him, and went to the club the night before he left. He was a pretty fun person to be around, so I really enjoyed myself. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention the one big thing that did happen to me. I lost my virginity. Not something to brag about I know, but for me it was certainly an event to be remembered. I'm glad it was Richard though. It's been kind of hard on me, no pun intended, to adjust to having a sex life. I'll be honest, it hurt like hell the first time and I told him to stop halfway through, but the second time went really well. It' s just so new to me, and I really have to get past the pain right now I guess. That's what is keeping me from doing it too often. It's not that I don't like it, my body just has to adjust to doing it. Despite the pain, I really did enjoy myself the second time. I know he was the right person to do it with though, because I haven't felt any regret over doing it since. I love him, and I'm happy with the decisions I've made with him. I sure couldn't have seen this coming a few years ago, that I would lose my virginity to a guy. Just goes to show how far I've come. The only thing is that it has made me realize even more that I want SRS. I enjoy sex with him, I just don't feel like all the parts are right yet. It's one of those things where it's good, but you feel like it could be better. Another thing that has come up is that I think I may have actually been raped when I was little. I next thing to panicked that first time when I got scared. Even the second time I was forcing myself to try again. I don't know, that's one of those grey areas for me. I can't say yes or no to it, because I just don't remember. I guess only time will tell with that. Things have been alright, I can't really complain too much. So I guess that's about all I have to say right now.