It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Lost A Friend

Well I think I finally have some time to myself to sit down and write again. There's a few new things to talk about this time. I think I can safely say I've lost one of my friends now over this. She was home from college Friday so I asked her to come over and hang out for a while. She agreed to things, and then the night before she tells me that she can't come in my room if she hangs out with me. Apparently that's the "rule" at college, because I'm a guy. It really pissed me off that she called me a guy, but even more so because she was telling me it was the reason she can't come in my room. I tried to convince her to come anyway, but nothing I said worked. She tried to claim that I have no right to consider myself a woman, because "god made me a guy". I ended up telling her off. I told her if she was going to be that way about things, not to bother coming over, and that I didn't want to be friends with her anymore. I suppose, that's the product of a Christian college. She was fine with me before going there, now it's like she's been brainwashed. But, I won't get into discussion about religion at the moment. Even though it's been a couple days it still burns me up to think about. How dare she tell me that I have no right to be a woman! My body may be a work in progress, but I'm just as much a woman as anyone born that way. I don't give a damn about DNA, I know what I am. It hurts me when I have to do it, and I wish I didn't have to, but I have to rid myself of unsupportive people. My family, I can't help but be around, but friends I can. She's no friend of mine if she constantly tells me I'm going to fail at this, or refuses to see me a girl. I don't need that in my life, I give myself enough grief as it is. I don't need that of anyone else added to it. I have to be my own activist, I guess, if I want anyone to treat me right. The hard work and determination I put into making this happen give me all the right in the world to call myself a woman, and to expect others to do the same. I've worked to make everything I've done happen. Yes, my friends have helped me out a lot, but most of the time I have to help myself if I want anything to get done. I'm tired of letting the rest of the world have it's way with me and saying nothing in opposition. I will not allow people to treat me badly for something I can't help. Try walking a mile in my shoes before you judge my life or my actions. I don't have to justify myself to anyone, I'm not ashamed of what I am. I am a transsexual woman, and I'm proud of what I've done with my life so far. I refuse to let anyone demean me for it, because unlike most people, I've worked hard to earn my right to call myself whatever gender I want.

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