It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Just Thinking

I've been helping a few people lately who are just getting started with everything. I'm an administrator on a TG message board on vampire freaks, so I've got a bit of responsibility to answer questions, I suppose. It's been pretty rewarding actually, I guess I see a lot of myself in the people who come on there in search of answers to their gender issues. It's put a little strain on me to answer them, I've spent hours trying to think of the best responses to questions sometimes. As much extra stress as it puts on me, I feel like it's a good stress. It makes me look back on my own experiences, and in a way puts everything into perspective for me. It also gives me a feeling of accomplishment, like I'm now at the point where I can offer help, on some level, to people who are where I was with this only a year ago. It's hard, and heartbreaking at times, to give some of the advice I do. As much as I would like to be a TG therapist or counselor someday, it's not an easy thing to do. I may not personally know anyone that I've given advice to, but I guess I feel like I have the responsibility to give them the best advice I possibly can. I know when I started looking for the same thing before, that I looked up to the people who gave me advice. I knew that there was plenty of stuff to read out there. However, at the same time I realized talking to people was the best way to go. It always seems like you get more from talking to someone than reading about everything. What I realize is that I'm quite possibly the only TG person any of these people have ever talked to. From my own experience, I know that what I say is going to be a big influence on them. I still look up to my friend that helped me out with advice when I first got started. It hasn't discouraged me yet, but, I suppose, it makes me think twice about my answers to serious questions. I would still like to go into counseling, but I guess now it's all a matter of what I'm qualified to do.

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