It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman, and everyday life in general. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that transgender people face every day.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
A New Streak of Luck
Well I've got some good news for today, I finally got a call back yesterday morning from the clinic and I've got a new appointment. My friend's boyfriend said he could take me, so it looks like I get another chance. I'm happy, in fact I was down right hyper all day, but I suppose now I'm coming down from that high. The big picture is coming back into view and making me think more realistically again. That still is that after this appointment I have no clue when I'll be able to make it back again. I'm hoping maybe I can bring it up with my aunt and maybe I'll get lucky and get a little sympathy from her. I don't know, I should be happier, but it's hard to feel that way when the threat is always there that everything I'm working toward could just collapse and fall apart at any time. I'll admit that getting hormones is my reason for wanting to live right now. My whole life's goal at this point is to go through transition successfully. Doesn't leave much to what happens after, but I guess I'll just deal with that when it comes. Something my friend said to me the other day really got me thinking. She told me that she thought I was brave for going through all of this. Honestly I'd like to believe that, but I just can't see myself as brave for doing this. Sure, it's scary at times and I haven't even gotten to the parts of it that scare me the most, but what other choice do I have? Live the rest of my life miserably, or die. Not much of a choice is it? It's like escaping from a burning building, you're in fear for your life and you just do it because you want to live. Well that's why I'm doing this. I'm truly in fear for my life if I don't, because I know what's happened before, and I know it can happen again if I let it. I'm not brave, not at all, I'm just in survival mode. Sure, it takes a lot courage to keep going sometimes, but what else can I do? I'm not turning back now, it's all or nothing as far as I'm concerned. I can keep going or die, those are my options. I vowed to transition or die trying, and I intend to make it happen either way. Sound harsh to you? Well, that's because it is, but no one ever said it was going to be easy.
My name is Sage, and I'm just a young trans-woman trying to get by in this world. I started this blog to write about my life and what goes on in it, and to talk about whatever I feel applies to it at times. Keep reading if it interests you. I plan to update as frequently as possible. If you send me friend requests on any of my sites, please send a message and mention my blog in it so I don't accidentally ignore it.
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My transgender group on vampire freaks.
This a personal blog, as such it contains the thoughts and opinions of the author alone. By no means are the statements made herein meant to defame, or do harm to anyone. To ensure this, names and personal information of those who have not given explicit permission to the author to use will be omitted to ensure privacy. The author assumes no responsibility for use by others of any information contained on this site or those linked to it. This statement is effective as of 6 May 2011.