It's my hope to post entries here about my life and experiences as a trans-woman who also happens to have bipolar disorder. This is my way of making my voice be heard, and bringing attention to the issues that myself and others like me, face every day.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Just One of Those Days

I would have posted yesterday, but I was having one of those days where all my problems seem to be in my head at once. It hasn't been as bad today though. Depression is just something I have to deal with I guess. I don't know if it's just me, but sometimes it seems like the smallest stupidest little things can set it off. To give an example, something like shaving can cause it. I guess it's mostly the little every day things that get to me the most. It's feels almost like my body taunts me so to speak. It reminds me every day of what I'm not.

I'm still feeling that way today, but I guess there's really no avoiding it. I got some good news at least, my aunt told my cousins about me and they didn't seem to have a problem with it. That's about the only good thing I have to say about today. Life in general just sucks for me right now. I have no job, which means no income, so I'm living off of what I've got while I'm trying to find a new job. It's all just so overwhelming sometimes. I wonder pretty often if I'll even make everything I'm planning happen.

People just don't seem to want to hire me around here. Even before the whole transsexual thing it was like I wasn't good enough for anywhere I applied. I mean I've applied to jobs that I was not only qualified to do, but over qualified, and I still didn't get them. Now it's just even harder. Sure I can just not say anything about it at whatever job I can manage to get, but eventually it will come up. I just wish I knew an easier way to make everything happen. I'm fighting an uphill battle with all this, I just hope I can come out on top in the end.

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